I hate the way I look. I hate, hate, hate it. I hate how I feel. My friend posted a picture from the walk yesterday and I, I cant even express in words how I feel about the picture. I am sitting here sobbing over it. I look horrid….and while the colour yellow makes me look ridic, still…. all the working out I have been doing….. and I look worse than I ever have, worse than I did at 225 pounds. I look as tall as I am wide and seriously….. If I had the energy and didn’t feel horrid and my foot didn’t kill I would go for a run right now. I hate looking and feeling like this. And while the societal ideal is practically impossible for most people, I know. I don’t want to look like Gisele or whatever. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to work out in a sports bra. I want to not feel so hideous that people will actually talk to to me in real life. I want to feel attractive and buy bras at VS and feel good about myself.
No workout today. I was ridiculously sore from the walk, which was odd. It was only 5 miles…… I went to the chiro and had a massage and I hope tomorrow I am feeling up to working out. I’m also still sick so….. *sigh*