I’ve been sick the past 2 days so not much of eating I didn’t puke up TMI I know.

In srs pain and anxiety with it….. a lot of withdrawl symptoms.  🙁

It was a mess.

I ended up in the from 4 yesterday until 2 this morning.  What a nightmare.

Today: 199.5 🙂

I feel better now and  I hope to get back on track tomorrow.

 This will be cross posted to 

 and is about my scale/weight issues, so if you don’t want to read, you do not have to.  I just need to vent.   

So I have been working out seriously for over a month and have been doing my best to eat as best as I can.  Yes, I have had slip ups, but this is the real world, and I am not a millionaire where I can afford a personal chef.

Anyways the scale has not moved downward at all….. in fact it has trended upward as high up as 207.  Which on my 5’2" frame is not good.  It also is frustrating with all the spinning and walking and ellipticalling I have been doing.   So I have been asking various people their advice and this is what I have received.

My primary care doctor:  You are doing everything right, it will happen.

My neuro:  If you want to lose weight eat 1000 calories or less and do not eat after 5.

My personal trainer:  more weight training and pilates

The trainer who ran the Gravity class I took last night:  It takes about 3 months to see results so be patient.  She suggested weight watchers and not to go below 1200 calories.  She asked if I considered surgery.  I explained the optifast that I had done before and how I was on the 900 calorie diet and that I was not a surgical candidate; I do not weigh enough.  She asked if I have had my thyroid checked and I explained how I have, and how it is checked regularly.  I explained I am the healthiest obese person—all my tests are always fine and other than my stupid headaches…..I’m fit as a fiddle.

The trainer who did my stretch orientation today:  It takes about 3 months to see results.  She doesn’t like weight watchers.  She asked me how many calories I ate yesterday and I told her 1230.  She said maybe I’m not eating enough.  

So……. I have no idea what to think anymore.  When I lost weight before I saw results right away.  I am feeling so frustrated right now and I understand why I have stopped working out and eating right b/c I have really been working hard and to watch the scale go UP!?!?!?! No wonder I have quit before.  

I know with PCOS it is harder to lose weight and I didn’t expect this to be easy.  What I did expect was to actually see the scale move down regularly even if it were a pound a week or every week at least that is PROGRESS.  

I mean it is good that I feel better (minus the headaches) and less tired (somewhat) so that is a good benefit.  I can do things I didn’t think I could do before.  Spinning for an hour, sprinting on the treadmill and whatnot and those are good things; great even.  But I want to be able to do more and do them easier.  I want to be able to go to yoga and not have my stomach and chest in the way.  I want to go out and not feel like I am being laughed at or judged.  

I wanted to be under 200 by my birthday but I am not sure that is going to happen and it makes me sad b/c it was a realistic goal to lose 5 pounds by Oct 8th (starting at end of August)  . . . . 

Anyways even if you don’t have any advice to offer words of encouragement would really help me right now since I am feeling so down about this.  

Thanks for reading.  <3

 

I exercised 16/30 days this month.  Definately could have been better.  The number may be higher since I missed a few days logging here so it could be as high as 18 or 19.

I took new classes (pilates reformer, yoga, burn).  I’ve been spinning at least once a week.  I’ve been weight training.  I’ve been burning insane calories when I have been working out and I always feel good after.  Having a hot tub to soak in after is also key in motivating me to go.   It feels amazing and helps me relax and recover quicker IMO.

I hope this month is better workout wise.  My goal is to work out 5 days a week minimum, which would give me 25 days of working out.  I also hope to see the scale move DOWN not up.   My goal was to lose 10 pounds by my birthday which would have got me to 190.  Now I will settle for there not being a 2 at the front of the number.   The number has ranged from 203-206 this week.  🙁

I just want to be back where I was before the pill.  At one point I even got down to 189.  That seems like forever ago.  I really hope it is lower by the time I see the dr on the 16th.  I want to have SOME progress.  I know it can be done.  But even if I eat more or less or exactly right nothing seems to change.  

So juice fast this weekend to boost me and then perhaps starting to count points to make sure I am eating the right amount of calories and I find points easier to count than calorie counts of every morsel.  Especially since the things I eat the most frewuent I already know the point value.  

The good thing about having NO money is that I can’t just run out and get crap to eat when I have a craving.  It also means I can’t run out and get milk, fruit and veggies and yougurt when I need them.  This is going to be a hard month since it is the first month on just unemployment.